Church in the past?

This is, sadly, the case for a good number of churches—closed off from the world outside and found themselves low on supplies. The church has to look outside its protective bunker to bring more supplies (people and resources) in. Some churches have emerged and determined that it is too scary to venture out into a different landscape than the one they had so painstakingly persevered, so they are determined to hunker down and hope that some new people join and were longing for the exact experience the church has preserved.

Don’t hear what I’m not saying here—I believe that there are some non-negotiables when it comes to church—namely the gospel of Jesus, the gathering of the saints for worship, and our responsibility to our neighbors. I do think that we as the church need to ask and honestly answer the two questions posed by Mr. Schaller.

“The two most important questions for any church and its leaders are ‘What year is it?’ and ‘What year will it be next year?’”

-Lyle E. Schaller

What year is it?

Most people are comfortable in a particular era. This evidenced by the music we listen to, the way we decorate our homes, the way we dress, and many other outward signs. Truth be told, most people are most comfortable in a church that operates, looks, and feels like it did when they had their meaningful spiritual encounter. This explains why there are so many churches that operate as if it were 30, 40, or more years in the past. An honest assessment is needed that places a date on the culture of the church.

What year will it be next year?

This question gauges our willingness to bring the church into a more current context. This may mean adjusting some meeting times. This may mean updating some of the interior. This may mean allowing certain programs to end. It may mean several operations, programmatic, and cultural shifts—but one thing is certain, it does not have to include a change in core beliefs. The church that is willing move forward into the next year (or decades) know full-well it will bring some new challenges and new ways of doing things, but they are no longer content to say, “It will be the same year it has been for the last 35 years.”

One Big Problem:

I read for pleasure, but I also read to help me lead, learn, research, and grow. I also highlight new or interesting ideas and make notes in the apps that help me to implement what I have uncovered. The problem is I couldn’t always find that idea or that quote I was looking for. It was trapped somewhere in a vast digital book pile.

I tried all the tricks I’ve read on the internet: make notecards in the Kindle app, import clips into Evernote, copy and paste into a working document.  Each solution has merit and also several limitations like a publisher’s restrictions on the amount of text you can view/copy from Kindle.

I even tried creating my own personal database of quotes and passages (who has that kind of time?) and realized that there has to be a better solution.

The App for Readers:
I came across Readwise.io and it changed the game for me. It helps you sort, tag, and remember those quotes from the books you read this year and the last 3 or 4. I use it to organize and recall all manner of information. Need a quote about passion? Just type it in the search bar and you have highlights across all your books to help tie together your thoughts. They say this about their product:

Readwise is software built on top of existing reading platforms — such as Amazon Kindle, Apple iBooks, and Instapaper — that conveniently resurfaces all the things you found important while reading. This interrupts the natural process of forgetting, creating repeated opportunities to actually do something with what you’ve read.

I’ve been using it for quite some time now, it save times and helps me recall so much more of what I’ve read over the years. Some of the books on your shelf may have some popular highlights others have uncovered, so as an added bouns- they can throw some of those in for you too. Readwise is a great tool to have as a leader in any organization.

“Genuine, healthy self-esteem develops when caring adults identify children’s strengths but also allow them the satisfaction that comes only from trying and failing. Effort, failure, and eventual triumph builds great emerging adults.”

We all have a fear as parents that our kids will continue to get older but never become mature enough that they are able to stand on their own. We see so many posts from young adults talking about the difficulties of “adulting” and we nod along with a grin.

There came a point in my imagining the future for my kids that I thought, “What if this is not a joke, and my kids actually struggle to do the most basic adult things?”

I came across Tim Elmore over a decade ago and I love the work he does across the country in teaching leadership principles to schools, non-profits, and parents. He wrote a book called 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid which addresses some basic things we do as parents that actually are mistakes and can hinder them from becoming strong and resilient.

The introduction from Tim helps frame the conversation in the pages that follow:

Here’s the bottom line. I believe we need to face some new issues as parents. We must define what kids need from us to mature in a healthy way. We must figure out what hinders their growth and what equips them to be great adults. We must become both nurturers and trainers, knowing that we are not raising children, but future adults. I offer this book as a reference guide as you face your toughest challenges and attempt to get kids ready for life as they leave your home or school. Here’s to correcting our mistakes along the way—for their sake.

This is a book worth reading and, more than that, worth applying (it’s never too late to help your kids). The mistakes we can avoid are:

MISTAKE 1: We Won’t Let Them Fail
When we remove the possibility of failure, we dilute kids’ motivation to excel.

MISTAKE 2: We Project Our Lives on Them
When we project, kids are pressured to become someone they are not.

MISTAKE 3: We Prioritize Being Happy
When happiness is the goal instead of a by-product, it is elusive and disappointing.

MISTAKE 4: We Are Inconsistent
When we are inconsistent, we send mixed signals and breed insecurity and instability in kids.

MISTAKE 5: We Remove the Consequences
When we remove consequences for actions, we fail to prepare kids for the future.

MISTAKE 6: We Lie About Their Potential and Don’t Explore Their True Potential
When we distort, disillusionment results from dreams that don’t match kids’ gifts.

MISTAKE 7: We Won’t Let Them Struggle or Fight
When we eliminate the struggle, kids are conditioned to give up easily without trying.

MISTAKE 8: We Give Them What They Should Earn
When we give them too much, they don’t learn the art of working and waiting.

MISTAKE 9: We Praise the Wrong Things
When we affirm kids’ looks or smarts instead of their virtues, their values become skewed.

MISTAKE 10: We Value Removing All Pain
When we take away pain, kids’ ability to endure hardship or loss atrophies.

MISTAKE 11: We Do It for Them
When we do things for kids, they can become lazy, unmotivated to grow, and disabled.

MISTAKE 12: We Prepare the Path for the Child Instead of the Child for the Path
When we prepare the path, kids’ childhoods work fine, but their adulthood looks bleak.

There is practical application and real-life examples throughout the book. Worth taking a chance on, one word of caution though, it may require that you change too.

Pick up the book.

Tim’s Organization: Growing Leaders

If you linger in the conversation long enough the conversation will generally gravitate to an issue of quality versus quantity.

Quality vs. Quantity: When we become defensive as a church about the size of our church citing that we are more about quality than quantity, this may be a sign of bigger issues. This is not to say that bigger equals better—there are most definitely issues that come through seeking only to be bigger. The ill-focused small church speaks of the quality of relationships, the richness of tradition, and the familial bond. The ill-focused large church speaks of large numbers, their great buildings, and the number of new visitors they have every week.

When we become defensive as a church about the size of our church citing that we are more about quality than quantity, this may be a sign of bigger issues.

The most telling thing about either is what is missing from the discussion. Generally, the discussion may touch on the gospel for a moment, but it never lands there. Why? Because the gospel may be the furthest thing from their minds. Not convinced?

Ask them about their heart for the community.

Do they desire to see the community impacted by the positive influence of the church—or—do they desire to have the community walk through the door on Sunday?

Do they seek the flourishing of the city—or—do they seek the flourishing of their ministry?

Do they seek “butts in the seats” –or—transformed lives?

The thing is these questions are not mutually exclusive. The thing that matters most is the message. Is the love of Jesus the message? A small church can have the same impact a large church has in the community. Framing the mission, action, and message in the love of Jesus is essential. I remember the old Sunday School training mantra, “They don’t care how much you know, till they know how much you care.”, I believe that the love of Jesus spilling into the community helps them to see how much we care.

So drop the debates and go tell them about the love of Jesus. Do for a few people what you wish you could do for them all.

Is there a “secret sauce” to growing godly kids? If there is, whoever developed the recipe needs to put it in a bottle and take my money. Just apply a few drops every week to your kids and watch them become the people you had always hoped they be. The recipe for this has been around for a very long time, the problem is, it can’t be placed in a bottle and reduced to an occasional outside action. The recipe is found in God’s Word. Here is one example from Psalm 78:1-4…

“O my people, LISTEN to my instructions.
Open your ears to what I am saying,
for I will speak to you in a parable.
I will teach you hidden lessons from our past—
stories we have heard and known,
stories our ancestors handed down to us.
WE WILL NOT HIDE these truths from our children;”

Now, when we think of having our children taught about God, the common thought is the church is where this should be done, this is part of the reason the church exists. The church is here to help you teach your children about Jesus, and faith, and righteousness… Many churches have things like youth group. Sunday School. Wednesday Nights. VBS. The church is here to help your children know more about God….

BUT make no mistake… THERE’S NO SUBSTITUTE for us teaching our OWN kids

In fact, when God commands us to teach our children, He doesn’t tell us to take them someplace where someone else can teach them.

Consider Deuteronomy 11:19 which tells us “Teach (God’s commands) to YOUR children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

As much value as Sunday School teachers, and KidMin leaders, and youth ministers and preachers can be… there is no substitute for YOU teaching your own children.

Christian families do this in various ways. Most take their children to church with them and discuss what they’ve learned in their classes and in the sermon. Some have a devotional time together each day. Some seek for a teachable moment.

Here is a fact: No one leaves a godly legacy by accident.

The passage says we should proclaim to the next generation the 1) glorious deeds of the Lord, 2) His power and 3) his mighty wonders. This means that we will be bold and unapologetic in thanking the Lord for His provision. We will use language that speaks of the glory of Christ in the midst of our blessing and make Him known through it. Telling the next generation about His power means that we openly recognize Christ as the source and power of all things. Hebrews 1:2-3 says that “He made the world….and upholds all things by the word of His power.”

Expressing His “mighty works” is really a call to connect the gospel of Jesus Christ to all things. It is the work of the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ that makes possible everything else in the Christian life. When celebration of the gospel as an integral function of our being takes place, the next generation becomes more keenly aware of its power.

So what happens when this takes place in church and family life? We see that a godly legacy has great rewards!

Intentional generational teaching occurs. The next generation takes on the challenges of the generation before them. Confidence in Jesus is bolstered. Our children remember God’s faithfulness in previous works and in the gospel. Future generations are prone to see the failures and sins of their fathers and rise above them.

As a parent, we see the importance of teaching our children helping them grow in their relationship with God. But no parents can do all this without the help of others. This is why student and children’s ministry exists and why all other educational efforts in the church exist.
Building a godly legacy takes effort and intentional, relational effort—but most things that endure require this too.